MonkeyFaze

Nothing much about me... Other than that I totally love Jessica!! To show how much I love her...

Something I've been working on:

Why I love Jessica? “For many reasons I guess,” That’s what I’d normally say…

Her uniqueness, one of a kind. I’ve asked some guys, you think Sica’s unique in any sense? The answers I guess are “no” or “don’t think so”. I guess the way I look at Sica just isn’t the same as the others, sadly… I think Sica is really honest in variety shows. It’s not that she doesn’t care for her image or whatever, but we are able to see her true side rather than a different one. Though I don’t know that much about her, I do. Her confidence have recently been increasing and we are getting to see more and more of her personality which I have come to love .

The 1st time I saw Jessica… she didn’t make much of an impression, Yoona gave more of an impression actually, having a very pretty face and all. In fact the only members I really liked at that point of time were Yuri, Yoona and Sooyoung. Jessica was somewhere around 5th or 6th. But then I discovered the Yulsica couple (which I like to call) and Jessica became my 2nd. Still though, not having much of an impression on me. The 1st time I actually realized my immense love for Jessica was from Infinity challenge. She was so much like a cartoon character that I really came to love her.

Her beautiful, angel-like voice, I wish I had it. The way she raises her eye-brows as she smiles or looks at someone with a “motherly” vibe… I wish I had it. She’s not only someone I love a lot but someone I really respect and look up to. I love the arrogant vibe Sica gives off, it’s not arrogant like she’s really proud or whatever, it’s just her. She’s really frank and gives her opinion on any particular subject with just pure honesty. I really want to meet her and confirm my beliefs. Not that I don’t believe SNSD to be pure of heart and intent, it’s just that, in these kinds of industries you never know… I can bet that if I pull any fan, no matter dedicated or not, they can never be able to tell whether their personalities are similar on and off the screen. We look at them with just love and awe in their MVs but they give off a different vibe when they aren’t dancing and are merely talking on screen, so we think to ourselves is this the same when they get off the screen? Will they be different? Is it a good or bad kind of different? The reason why I love Jessica so much is that, I have very little doubt that she’s the same on and off screen, she’s just like that. People say she’s arrogant, I say she’s honest. People say she’s an ice princess, well I say to them she’s warmer than any person I know.

I guess living in America has affected Jessica a lot, she doesn’t act like the others (excluding Tiffany of course), she’s not that conservative. I think this is what turns people away from her, making them anti-fans of her. But if all of these anti-fans were collected and if I were given a chance to talk to them, I would want to. I would want to change their perspective of Jessica. I have done so before and I want to do it again. I want the whole world to share my love, very very deep love for Jessica, because she deserves it.

I have been told, that my love for Jessica is just an infatuation gone wild. I say, this is definitely not true. I’ve felt love for Jessica I’ve never felt for anyone before. Just the way she smiles brightens my days and granted that (sad to admit) I have kind of been looking at her too much and don’t smile as much as I see her expressions; I still love her very very much. I would willingly put my life on the line for her sake. She needs anything from me, a kidney, a heart, a brain it’s hers and I wouldn’t even hesitate before deciding.

At first I think my love for her was merely skin deep. I guess that’s just the sad truth, but over time, I got past that and went deeper. And now as I think to myself, why am I so critical when it comes to Jessica’s actions, why do I ask myself if I like her doing certain actions or not. It was then that I realized, I was looking into her personality, past her face and into her heart. A beautiful face is only just a beautiful face. If looks were judged I’d say Yoona takes the spot, but for me Jessica was different. As I watched her more and more, I realized many things. Some sad to say but true, I do not like, but some others I love. Quite obviously of course the loves overweighs the dislike. Though, I do love some of her actions which I dislike (if that makes sense at all). I mean no one is perfect, and Sica in my opinion is as perfect and near goddess-like as anyone can get. In fact I have reason to believe she is actually Aphrodite, the Goddess of beauty in Greek mythology, that’s how much I look up to her. Her shortcomings is what makes her, her and I don’t ever want to change that for anything in the world.

I’m particularly content if I don’t meet her at all, but in that case she has to be exceedingly happy, if not I will do all my best and exert all my means to make her the happiest girl on Earth. It is unfortunate that she plans to move back to the states after a certain period of time, but I will try my darndest to enter SM and get to meet her one day. One day… Hopefully she won’t leave when I do get into SM and when I do I truly and earnestly hope that she becomes my Vocal coach , I cannot think of anyone more qualified and better to do so.

One guilty pleasure of mine is to wish for me to debut and actually get to appear on WGM with Sica. Though, a foolish dream and a definitely sinful one, I do wish with all my heart to achieve that dream. I want to call her noona with her beside me and let her know of my love for her. I want to get to know her, get to know as much about her as possible, be the one she shares secrets or emotional problems with. And not to sound corny but, be her guardian when she’s facing problems and be her shoulder to cry on if things were to go bad. That’s what I sincerely wish for from the bottom of my heart. I want to go out with her, bring her to theme parks, watch her sing on stage, but presents for her which she loves and just walk home with her. Talking to her would be like a dream and as in real life I would clamp up the moment I face a beautiful girl and I cannot imagine what I would do when meeting such a goddess-like individual like Jessica. I want to make her happy every day and let her know that in this life, there is someone who will forever love her no matter the age difference. 5 years to me is no big deal, I do hope that she doesn’t mind my immaturity and accept it with the humility and kindness that she embodies.

People say, “no, I don’t think Jessica has any aegyo at all,” I say she has aegyo in everything she does. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think every action of hers is just too cute to be true. Sure she’s awkward when she comes to doing it purposely but maybe she doesn’t know it but her every action is coming out so cutely.

If you were to ask me, if Jessica were my ideal type of girl. I’d say blankly and truthfully, no. Then why, am I still so much in love with her. The answer to that? I don’t know either. Her charm and personality has captivated me like no other, and some might say that I just like her looks but like I said I’m not judging her based on looks and if I were I’d pick Yoona. If you were to ask my why, do you always say Jessica is the most beautiful then? Why, because of her heart that’s so beautiful. In fact my ideal type would be someone with tanned skin like Sooyoung rather than light skin like Sica’s. Her beautiful heart, something not everyone can see. The 1st time I got a true sense of Jessica was probably in Girl’s Go To School. She cried when she wrongly accused Hyoyeon of skiving. And to display such raw emotions because of her one mistake was really something I admire. She didn’t cry when they won 1st place in MuBank but she did because of her one mistake. Not everyone is able to be so emotional like her and that’s what I really love about her.

Sometimes, when I look at Jessica, I see a reflection of myself. Some might call me delusional by comparing a goddess to a peasant like myself but, that’s just what I think. Jessica, zoning out, a favorite pastime of mine too. Jessica’s delayed reaction, also a trait of mine. Those are just slight reasons. Her emotional sense is very much similar to mine. Certain times as said before, she cries due to her errors, and that’s what I’d certainly like to do when I’m in the wrong. Her certain actions, her suggestions, contains traits of me which I feel is very warming. I guess I might be exaggerating a little when I say she’s quite a lot like me and I am making certain areas of her personality similar to mine on purpose, but it’s just my wish really, to have someone similar to me whom I love.

To Be Continued…