my ot9 heart

Dear Girls’ Generation,

Well — it’s been quite the wild ride, hasn’t it? As I’m sure any fan who’s been around since the beginning will be able to tell you; and I think even those who joined later can still recount the ups and downs, the sheer rollercoaster ride that is the K-Pop industry, the arduous journey full of bumps and bruises you all had to toil through in order to get to where you are today. Which, arguably, is at the very, very top of it all.


We can take a moment to look back, of course. Just briefly, vaguely — because eight years is quite a long time, and quite a lot has happened — really, none of us can say that we were ever exactly in your shoes. But we can still imagine: the pre-debut jitters; the twists in your stomach at the first words of doubt, of dislike, of pure venom; the nightmare of facing a world completely dark to your light. But also: the staunch hope and steadfast belief that things would get better; the smiles and laughs shared between members and SONEs alike; the moment you got on stage and were nearly blinded by the massive pink ocean waving back at you.


But even at the peak, we can still stumble, sometimes. Even people outside of the fandom have at least heard about what happened recently, just last September. It threw everyone off, at the very least: all of those years, all of that laughter, all of those moments when we thought we had actually connected — had they all just been ripped away, left as only mere impressions in the wind? Was Girls’ Generation finished? Had the journey downhill finally begun?


I, for one, still choose to believe in that genuine bond you show the world every single day. It’s something too pure to be manufactured, too heartfelt to be torn into pieces. Of course, I’m not saying that it can’t be stretched, perhaps even to the very edge of its limits, but that’s really all that separates the things still intact from the things that are now broken.

You’ve said it yourselves, before, many times: Girls’ Generation will still be Girls’ Generation — today, tomorrow, forever. And to that, I add: Girls’ Generation will always be Girls’ Generation — because no matter how many times you trip, you will always be able to catch one another. You may come out of it a little worse for wear, maybe a little more changed than you’d like. But Girls’ Generation will remain Girls’ Generation — even after the end.


The top can be a lonely place. But you will always have each other. Cheesy? Yes. Even so, we can all feel that it’s true. Because we, as fans, have been through so much together, with you. And you, as Girls’ Generation, have been through even more, with your members. And we’re all still here, right? So yeah, the top will get a little desolate sometimes, but hey, you’ve made it eight years already. And what is the number “8” but an “infinity” symbol standing tall? Just like you are, at the pinnacle of all there is to be for the undefinable future.

Happy eighth annivesary, Girls’ Generation. Here’s to many more, wherever you go: across the continent, around the globe, and even beyond the universe — to whatever else might lie ahead.




Dear Jessica,

So much has changed since Girls’ Generation’s last anniversary. Just one year ago, I was celebrating the group’s seventh year together. Girls’ Generation’s contracts were renewed, and it seemed we would be going on together for a long time. A tour in Japan had just finished, and I was looking forward to what might be coming next. At the time, I would have given anything for Girls’ Generation to have a set of promotions as amazing as the group is receiving now. A song like “PARTY”, a show like “Channel Girls’ Generation”, and Girls’ Generation with the member who hates running the most on “Running Man”, what more could I want? And then, of course, September 30th happened.

As I write this, I realize that to some, September 30th is a date that might be almost as important as August 5th. As much as August 5th was the start of Girls’ Generation, September 30th was a new start for you. For me though, September 30th was different: it was the end of Forever 9 and the end of hearing “Jessi” and “Sica”. It was when I realized I was wrong, that there was something I wouldn’t give up for all the promotions and variety shows and concerts in the world: a nine-membered Girls’ Generation. So for a while, my thinking changed. Instead, I would have given up anything to have you back. Because really, what are albums and tours compared to all nine members in group photos, or seeing happy birthday wishes between you all, or a Jessica channel on “Channel Girls’ Generation” with all the others? For me, it’s an easy choice.

Well, it was an easy choice, until I realized that I was wrong again. There was something that I wouldn’t give up, but this time something that I wouldn’t give up to have you back: your happiness. Whatever the circumstances of your leaving may have been, since then, you’ve done more than anyone could have imagined. You’ve gone all over the world, met and worked with global stars, and continued to build your fashion line. You’ve been to invited to fashion shows and television programs, and onto magazine feature after magazine feature. You opened an Instagram account to go along with your Weibo, have shared dozens of photos with your many fans who always love to see any and all updates from you, and had a birthday party with fans overseas. You’ve done so much that you may never have been able to if you had the obligations of a member of Girls’ Generation, and even though as I would love to have you back, it means more to me that you’re happy, and doing well as you forge ahead on your own. You’ve moved on, and I’ve realized that I should too.

But moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. I look forward to the future and what you’ll do, but will always cherish the memories of when you were with Girls’ Generation. I’ll always remember you pulling Sunny from standing too close to the edge of a platform at a concert, and your random English moments with Tiffany, and when you made salted kimbap and vinegar sandwiches with Yoona, and how you used to make Seohyun sit on your lap, and when you went to watch Hyoyeon on “Dancing with the Stars”, and your ridiculous commercial with Taeyeon, and whatever this was with Sooyoung, and your attempt at cooking with Yuri, and when you drew “소녀시대” in the sand and tried to prevent the waves from washing it away, and so so so much more. I hope to make more memories with you and Girls’ Generation, but I won’t forget the old ones.

So I guess some things are still the same as from one year ago. Those memories are still precious, maybe even more so. When I see eight members, it still feels like someone is missing. And most importantly, even though you may not be in Girls’ Generation anymore, I still wish you all the happiness and success in the world, just as I do for all the members, for the seven years’ worth of memories you’ve given me. You deserve nothing less. Happy anniversary, Jessica.


Written by: moonrise31@soshified, bhost909@soshified